One reason is because Fibro is a lifelong condition. It's possible at some point those in the medical fields will figure out a cause or some way to treat the cause without just masking or treating the symptoms. But, until that point I will have this Fibro condition that won't go away.
Another reason is because Fibro is nebulous, relatively unknown, and invisible.
Invisible because people usually can't just look at you to tell you have it. There isn't a test you can take for it. You know how you feel but you still look the same as you always did to everyone else.
If the Fibro symptoms are relatively mild, you may also still seem the same to everyone. My symptoms have not been mild since my first son was born and since my second son was born in February of this year my symptoms have ramped up even more.
I knew it was likely my symptoms would get worse after child birth ever since I learned that physical trauma was a factor in developing Fibro symptoms. I decided it was worth it, and Connor definitely is!
[Actual picture of our son Connor James]
However, I don't think I will be able to have another child, in large part due to how much more debilitating another childbirth could be, as well as because it's all I can manage now to handle two kids. I don't think I would be able to manage a third. I have had to be very honest with myself through this process and have had to know where my limits are. This is definitely one.
Back to Fibro! It's relatively unknown- both as far as how to diagnose it, treat it, and cure it, as well as in the minds of the general population. Now, it is much better known than it was even 5 years ago. There have even been commercials promoting certain medications to treat it and more and more people have been diagnosed with it. However, compared to other illnesses and conditions, it can often be overlooked and misunderstood.
Fibro is nebulous. Yeah... People don't always know if they have Fibro the way they can with other conditions. You just slowly feel more exhausted, more depressed, and in more and more pain.
Once you are finally diagnosed (since there is no test for it there can be a long waiting period while the doctors run tests and tell you everything you don't have), it is still nebulous because there is no clear cut prescription, no definite list of things to avoid or do to change it. Some things work for most, a few things work for some, other things work for the rest. There are guidelines, suggestions, and possibilities, but you have to try them to see for yourself if they will actually work for you. And so- Nebulous.
So, perhaps you can see some of why I was struggling after learning that I definitely had Fibromyalgia. I was doing what I could to manage my symptoms but I was struggling a bit with my attitude. Some days I was fine, and some days I was... irritable and depressed.
I met with a dear friend for lunch who shared with me her grandmother's struggles with forgetting things and being less able to do things she was previously able to do. She would try to encourage her grandmother when this happened, so when something else was forgotten or not able to be done anymore, she would tell her grandmother, "It's alright. This is just the new normal," and helped her learn to live in the new normal.
This shift in perspective was really helpful and really applicable to having Fibromyalgia! It changes, often for the worse, and then will stay the same until something triggers another change, or gives you a flair up. So, thinking of Fibro this way was a big help!
It's amazing how much of a difference a shift in perspective can be for you. I felt like I could manage things, be less irritable, and practically buoyant compared to how I felt before. I could sit there, take a few breaths when I felt overwhelmed, and just remind myself that everything was ok. Everything didn't suddenly feel wonderful, but in the midst of exhaustion and depression I could still have a tiny piece of happy.
It has still been a struggle, but since that shift in perspective it has been easier. My faith has helped a lot too, which I will share in a later post.
Have you had to make any attitude adjustments?
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